Here are the corrections and explanations for this week’s entries.
MONDAY PUN DAY
Groan away …
“Two vultures get ready to board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons.
The stewardess looked at them and said, ‘I’m sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
Following last week’s news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is (you guessed it!) going for a song.
HERE WE GO AGAIN
Find, identify and correct the errors in the following examples.
“A team of youth rangers are inviting the community to help clean up Cedar Creek later this month.”
The subject is the singular, collective noun, “team”. The verb is the plural “are inviting”. The subject and its verb must agree or it is incorrect.
“A team of youth rangers is inviting the community to help clean up Cedar Creek later this month.”
“Fewer than one in five people in Windsor live within walking distance of a grocery store, according to research conducted by a geospatial data analyst at the University of Windsor.”
The subject is the singular “fewer”. Its verb is the plural “live”. The subject and the verb must agree.
“Fewer than one in five people in Windsor lives within walking distance of a grocery store, according to research conducted by a geospatial data analyst at the University of Windsor.”
SUCH CONSTRUCTION SLOPPINESS
Find, identify and correct the errors in the following. (There are at least six.)
“Had she run for mayor and won she’d be condemned to spending the next four years of Mondays listening to whinging, grandstanding, and fighting petty battles for no thanks. All for half the money she can make elsewhere for half the grief.”
I have never heard of the word “whinging”.
The comma after “grandstanding is redundant.The last group of words is not a complete thought and should be connected to the complete thought preceding it.
“Can” should be “could” for better sense.
“Had she run for mayor and won she’d be condemned to spending the next four years of Mondays listening to whining, grandstanding and fighting petty battles for no thanks, all for half the money she could make elsewhere for half the grief.”
“That is, until you remember the company once wanted hundreds of millions of dollars from taxpayers to retool its Ontario plants.”
This is a subordinate clause and cannot stand by itself. Rewrite it.
“That is the case, until you remember the company once wanted hundreds of millions of dollars from taxpayers to retool its Ontario plants.”
“And no Lewenzas or Local 444 or standard-bearers for the social justice crowd yet.”
Where is the verb?
“And there are no Lewenzas or Local 444 or standard-bearers for the social justice crowd yet.”
“Ward 1 Coun. Drew Dilkens is now clearly the frontrunner without any serious competition from six minorleague wannabees with virtually no political experience between the lot of them.”
“Between” cannot be used when referring to more than two entities; It must be changed to the correct word.
“Minorleague” is not one word.
“Ward 1 Coun. Drew Dilkens is now clearly the frontrunner without any serious competition from six minor league wannabees with virtually no political experience among the lot of them.”
INANE CLICHÉ – “WALK-OFF HOME RUN”
Feel free to react; I am not printing my rant again.
“Weather” is a noun referring to climate.
“It is a beautiful weather day today and I am going to enjoy it.”
“Wether” is a noun referring to a castrated sheep.
“A wether is a sheep version of a gelding. I feel sorry for him.”
“Whether” is a conjunction introducing the first of two or more alternatives.
“It matters little whether we go or stay.”
NOW THIS IS FUNNY
“Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.”
Yogi Berra, the phenomenal New York Yankee catcher, coach and manager who was born in 1925, said this.
THIS WEEK’S WORDS
“Cavil” means to raise trivial objections, to bicker, to quibble or to carp.
“ ‘You complain and bicker and cavil over the tiniest, and most irrelevant, points of justice and I want that to stop now,’ said the judge to the defence council.”
“Sinecure” (n.) refers to a benefice, an office involving minor duties or a paid ecclesiastical office.
“It was widely known that the sinecure of the nephew’s do-nothing-for-money position was due to his familial relationship with the bishop who was known for his nepotistic appointments.”
“Avuncular” (adj.) means like an uncle, kindly, cousinly or indulgent.
“The always cheerful and avuncular old man was known by all for his love of the happy children who played in the park.”
“Verbiage” (n.) refers to an overabundance of words, vagueness, excessive wordiness or prolixity.
“The politician was known for his verbiage and prolonged rants over meaningless and inconsequential municipal problems.”